I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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