You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
