I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
