It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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