I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
