drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
