Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
NoShamevember. You game?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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