There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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