Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
she told me i tasted like america
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I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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