the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
