Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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