Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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