he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
