I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
