I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
