Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
