Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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