my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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