airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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