We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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