Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
