I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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