He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
