i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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