So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
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