she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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