Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
