well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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