so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
