Me too!
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
