dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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