so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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