new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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