I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
