Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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