I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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