two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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