Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
