Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize