i just had sex bonerless
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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