just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
We need to get me chipped asap
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
