New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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