what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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