Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
