Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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