Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
