I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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