Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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