Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
