...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
