We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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