I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
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She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
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I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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