What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
