i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
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