So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
