it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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