You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
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